Don’t you come after me biko!
The things some of us women knows now, had it been we knew it before, we for Don pass the level we deh now. Still, I never used sentiments, when Alex came for me. He wasn’t buoyant, but he has future. He visits me, bearing gifts and things that will make me happy, without me knowing that he had no reasonable job, have not been paid for a long time. He was an Electrical and electronics engineer that was working in a dead company, called bencov at Aba, that owed him salary for a year and 8 months, before we agreed to stop deceiving ourselves, and he resigned from there. He was a restless, vibrant man then, looking for something to do, so that he will contribute in putting food on the Table too. And cos of that, when companies he buried his CVs in, started routing for him, it was wonderful. This is it. Marrying someone with potentials, who is a team player, who saw himself that half of him, is you.
There was a brother that was my neighbor then. He was a banker. Very handsome. I saw how women troops in and out from his flat, and how it’s making him famous, until we got talking. He innocently asked me why I have rings everywhere, and I replied him that it is my trademark. He asked me if my husband is OK with it, I told him that he met me when I had more rings and married me still. That was how we became siblings like friends. He came to me one day, and told me that he is single and searching. I laughed . With all these women around you? He said I should not mind the numbers, that non of them are wife materials. Mmm. If i can find him a wife, that I have a good heart. I told him I have, but she is not a graduate. He hesitated. And said OK. Their first date, she sells fresh tomatoes as a young girl in Ahia Umungasi. He saw it odd, and still went ahead with the date in his house. The girl came and left, and bros rushed to me.
Bros: sis. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Bros: sis no mind me. She is amazing. She came with a lot of tomatoes lol. I was confused. We had to cook emergency stew together. Thank God I had meat in the fridge. Chei my sister. This girl is something else!
Me: so. Wetin come happen, you go marry or not?
bros: why I go miss this kind girl, am I daft?
Me: to God be the glory.
he sees it that he has over stayed ,and is over due to settle down. The second date germinated into marriage proposals, and from there, two months later, he wedded her, and still did not disturb her in her tomato business. He enrolled her in Abia Polythechnic, and she took evening program. Like that, she graduated, did her youth service, built by her husband.
Team work, that Is the key to a successful marriage.
Now, sometime… A sister told me that she is about to get married, but she is worried. That the guy can’t path with any of his money. Doesn’t ask her how she foots her bills, he is always complaining that he has no money, while he works, and she schools as they dated.
Me: Ehe, what do you want me to do for you?
She: I want to know if this marriage is workable like this.
Me: it is not. There is time for you to run now. It’s only date that was fixed, you can unfix it.
She: sis. I Am of age oo. Don’t you think I should marry him now, maybe he will change later?
Me: he never contributed in your school fees, pocket money? MBA, for clothes or cream? No, and he is not jobless. He is a stingy man, na your body go suffer am. He is not a team player. Run now.
She ignored me, and got married.
How do you people do that? You are bent on something, you will still go to disturb someone’s peace to seek for help in decision, and will still go back to do what you want. I don’t know.
It took God, and swallowing of shame, for this sis to contact me again, that she wants out. That after her youth service, she was retained by the bank. She pays the house rent, fuels his car, paid even her hospital bill, after delivery, buys groceries, and clothings for both of them. That the guy brings nothing home, “that he has no money”. That she saw grey hair on her head, that she even took extra weekend job in the bank, to boost her always devoured salary. Sis, that she wants out. I read and did not reply her, until she started frustrating my phone. When I finally picked… I barked!
Me: you know what to do. Follow your heart and leave me the hell alone.
Of course, she knows what she should do. She picked her child, and left the marriage. She only left “thank you” in my inbox, I replied… You are welcome.
I know of a wheelbarrow pusher, who pushes anything. He can go to quarry, and push any type of stone for loading, he can push your goods for you… Vegetable oo, luggages ooo, planks ooo, offload electronics.
Deh peter works like Jackie.
At the end of each day, with his slippers, hanging by the two handles of the wheelbarrow, he is trekking home to his wife and children, with a wheelbarrow, containing soup items, or stew items, and 4 litres of fuel, for his.. “I pass my neighbor’s Gen”. His kids will see him from afar, and race to him with excitement, cos, they will on gen. He does not miss it every night. And they sleep with gen. He pushed that wheelbarrow, and opened a kiosk for his wife, for phone accessories, when it was hot cake. I recently heard that the hardworking guy have retired, cos of a nail puncture, that nearly took his Leg. He is at home now, aging with grace, cos his wife is one of the big shop owners on phone accessories in Ekeapkara market.
Evaluate all these, it guns down to teamwork.
For the singles.
Once you have a date, that refuses to be a team worker, cut him or her, lose. They are destiny delayers, and life drainers. A man is coming for you, and through out you knew him, he has never given you one naira to buy pant with, it will not get better in marriage oo, run. If he can’t give it to you then, he will never give it to you. There are men, born like that, who is looking for a productive partner to finish, same as women too.
if she is not ready to upgrade with you, take a job, learn one trade or another, so that she can help, run your home in future, she sees you as his ATM, cut her loose, and run. It makes no sense, that you are married to someone that will mess your destiny, up.
teamwork is the number one the that boosts the strength of marriages, to stay afloat, even when the love is no more there.