There are simple keys to every relationship to be successful. if only you can get your relationships needs met, then your relationship has a much better chance of being a long and happy one. Overall not having your needs met is one of the key reasons relationships end – and after a break up, it is especially important to have your relationships needs met to remain happy and stay together in the long term.
The sure-fire way to get your needs met in a relationship is by making sure your partner knows just what those needs are. You cannot read minds, and there is no way you can expect your partner to be able to read minds either. They want you to be happy and want to make sure your relationships needs are met, so you must tell them what they are.
At the same time, whilst they are looking to meet your needs, then you must also encourage your partner to tell you what their needs are and make them see that their needs and feelings are also important. By doing this you may well be very surprised to learn how different both your needs are, and if this is something you have never spoken about before then you will be even more surprised!
One thing you may feel the need for, is for your partner to tell you that they love you more often, and in return this may be something that you also start to do for your partner. However whilst they may well enjoy this, in reality what they really want is for you to do a lot more quick considerate things which make them feel special – for some people words are enough but for others actions always speak louder than words.
Alternatively you may really need your partner to be more helpful to you – but then when it’s time to clean the house or do the laundry you end up doing them alone, yet again. So what do you do? Well instead of simply asking for help or letting them know that it would mean a lot to you if they could actually do the laundry sometimes or actually help you out doing them – you just get angry. You huff around while you’re doing the jobs, slam a few doors and just generally get very angry! – this is known as passive aggressive behavior – you are simply trying to manipulate them into helping you by acting that way – and unfortunately it just does not work. It’s much better and healthier to simply ask for help.
All you need to do to start off, is to have a discussion about your relationships needs and this will help to strengthen the relationship and make it easier for you to keep each other happy. You are likely to feel uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, but you should do it anyway – telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.
Passive aggressive behavior is very common in relationships, but you just end up chasing your tail because generally it just doesn’t work. If they do take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful.
So you should ask for help and explain that it makes you feel good when they act in a way that shows they want to help you. This way they are coming to a task from a place of love and helpfulness and not from a place of guilt – so it’s better for everyone. This really does apply to everything such as showing affection, respecting each other’s feelings, and every aspect of your relationship.
So in summary, when you want something you must ask for it, and be prepared to give your partner what he or she asks for to make sure all of your relationships needs are met.
In conclusion try to speak the basic love language of your partner.