7 Causes Of Delay in Marriage and How to Avoid Them

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Marriage has always been the worries of many youth and delay in marriage seems to be on a high side. Let go deep and see the reasons in order to avoid them.

“You must get married this YEAR,”

Says the pastor to the single girls/boys in his church, and they said amen.

I’m not here to castigate the pastors. Neither am I here to question the omnipotency of God. I’m just here to think aloud on the reasons why many young men and women don’t get married at their willed times and why many prophecies of some pastors don’t come to pass as they wish.

I pray you understand me on this my naive thinking on why many men and women don’t get married when they wish to. I also pray for God’s inspiration on both you and me.

I shall consider the following as the reasons why many men and women delay in getting married, and why some pastoral prophecies, regarding quick and instant marriage, are not fulfilled. They are “God’s time, Personal decision, Traditional Requirements/Poverty, Ignorance, Individual Character, Parental Decisions, Spiritual Forces And Destiny.” I shall briefly explain them one by one for a clearer comprehension.

1. The first according to the above outline is “God’s time.”

We often say that God’s time is the best. This common quote is 100% right. But how does God’s time constitute impediment to a pastor’s prophecy regarding instant marriage? Firstly, prophecy is not a prediction. They are two different things. Many persons misplace the two for one reason or the other. And when one predicts in the name of prophecy, it may (not must) either work or not work out as predicted. Secondly, any prophecy that contradicts God’s will is tantamount to a prediction, and such prediction will never work out as predicted.

Therefore, if it is God’s will that you’ll get married at 30 (or 40, or even 45) no prophecy can change that because it is for a purpose, and you’re living a purposeful life. That time must elapse before anything happens. Prophecy is the communication of the divine will. It is not an act of changing God’s will/plan/time to suit human desires.

2. Personal Decision plays a vital role in everyone’s life and destiny.

God has placed before us all good and evil, blessings and curses, and has left us to make our individual choices (Deut. 30:19-20). Many of us chose not to marry when it was our turn, and maybe God decided to change our turn for another time in future. Most times prophecy does not change this extended period of time but individual commitment to prayer and apologetic approach to God do.

Therefore it’s nice to make the right choice at the right times and in the right ways. The choice you make today conditions your destiny tomorrow. That is why God, in Deuteronomy 30:19, calls on heaven and earth to bear Him witness on our daily choices. So, make wise choices in life. One wrong choice can destroy your whole life.

3. Traditional Requirements/Poverty.

Many young girls are like slaves to their traditional marriage rites. Many traditions have also turned their girls into business commodities by placing their marriage rites above average or affordable standards. Some men cannot even afford one quarter of the traditional requirements to marry the girls they love in these areas. That is, in some places, marriage rites are placed so high that a common man can’t afford to marry from there.

Many tribes also grade their daughters according to their aesthetic appearances and their academic qualifications. Some who’re not beautiful but have PhDs may cost like #1million. The beautiful ones with PhDs may cost #2million and above, depending on how beautiful they look. Whereas the graduates and under graduate beautiful ones are rated below #1million. And so on. All these contribute to late marriage or delay in getting married. Thus to prophecy instant marriage here, one has to pray for cultural/traditional changes and financial blessings for the girls and for the boys.

A pastor may prophecy and the person that God has made for you is a poor fellow whom God has made to be rich through your companionship. That is, the two of you may be destined to become rich together after marriage, but your traditional rites may constitute a barrier to the soonest of that marriage, even after the pastors prophecy. In this case, your culture or traditional rite ought to be mitigated and the high cost of marriage rites neglected or reviewed for the good of the girls. I’m sure that most people raise the marriage rites so high in favour of the elders in the society, not for the good of the girls who may want to go into marriage. Whether the girl and her husband eat grasses after paying through their nose is not their business; their concern is to get the #2million shared accordingly.

Therefore, as a youth, you have a role to play here. The youths in places like these should stand up against these wicked acts in the name of cultures and traditions. Though many will be poisoned by the so-called evil elders, but something has to be done. And someone must take the lead. I’m solidly behind such person in this struggle. And God will be with us.

4. Ignorance:

Ignorance is a human weakness. The pastor is a human. Therefore, the pastor can be ignorant of God’s purpose in your life. In other words, the pastor who prophecied instant marriage for all the boys and girls in his church is ignorant of individual destinies and God’s purpose concerning each.  When a pastors says that everyone of you must get married this year, referring to those under the sound of his voice, I think he’s only exercising his office to please the people not to please God. And I can also say that he’s ignorant of the teaching of Christ in Matthew 19:10-12: that “not everyone shall marry.”

Therefore, pastors should learn from Christ and the apostles, and stop mocking or mispresenting divine will and the power of God in the name of prophecies. Prophecy is not even a daily thing that you will prophecy for marriage today and repeat the same prophecy tomorrow and also the next day, as long as your audience are ready to claim it with a resounding amen, without critical thinking about their personal lives and destinies.  Learn from your past mistakes and stop placing material things over and above God’s will for his children.

5. Personal Character:

It is John Mason Who says that ‘thought leads on to purpose, purpose goes forth to action, action decides Character, Character forms habit and habit fixes our destiny.’ This means that everything that has to do with one’s individual behavioural activities contributes toward the building of such person’s future or destiny.

Sometimes many pastors undermine the role that human behaviours toward God and neighbours play in building up of one’s future. Thus they prophecy to both those who have not truly made up their minds to live good lives to please God and accommodate other human beings, promising them instant marriages. Unfortunately, they often claim it’s God that speak through them. But after several years you see the same people moving round about seeking for another prophecy, maybe from a more famous pastor.

My dear friends, let us mend our ways and live good lives. God has ordained you and I and destined us for greatness. But only our bad attitudes toward God and our fellow human beings can rob that destiny from us. Remember the case of David and his brothers. The prophet thought that his choice would be God’s choice, so he made his choice but God rejected it and asked him to anoint the little shepherd (David). Pastors may prophecy a million times but if that is not the will of God, it will never work, and their prophecies would be proven abortive.

Mason J. also opines that “opportunity drops on the laps of those who position their laps where opportunity drops.” Therefore, let’s build our behaviours with virtues and pray to God who is the Transcendental prophet or the source of every true prophecy. Our Good lives can attract us the true prophecy, but our bad behaviours can even extend our blessings and cause the pastors to rain false prophecies on us only to gain their fame and acquire material gains.

6. Parental Choices/Decisions:

I’ve seen many parents who attribute life-destinies to their children. They claim that what a father or a mother says to his/her child must definitely happen. Thus they attribute life-destinies to their children. They say to the first child: “you will be a doctor.” And to the second child they’ll say: “you’ll be a priest/pastor. To the third they’ll say: “you’ll be a nurse.” And to the last they’ll say: you’ll be a soldier.” All these are to me irrelevant because they tend to override God’s purpose for each person by giving priority to the parental decisions and choices for their children.

The worst of the above menace is that parents who make choices for their children take bold steps to train them according to what they’ve chosen for them, without minding whether God has actually created those children for those activities as chosen by their parents. And after a long time wasted in that wrong carriers, you see them going back to begin afresh in pursuit of their true destinies. I’m not saying that parents have no right over their children. What I’m saying is that God’s own plan for any child supersedes that of the parents. And most times you see many of those who followed the carriers that were chosen by their parents for them misbehaving or even fail in life, because that’s not where God has called them to be.

Therefore, let parents learn to consider God’s will for their children before imposing their own wills on them. Pastors should also learn to counsel their members to find out what actually God has planned for them and human influences upon their lives before raining their predictions in the name of prophecies.

7. Spiritual Forces/Destinies:

Many are remote-controled spiritually. They have gone far and wide but still have not found solutions to their problems. Some often go from one crusade to another just to have breakthroughs through the pastors’ prophecies, without first of all looking into their lives to see their true relationships with God or with other spiritual forces. Some are under spells too. In the other hand, some are destined not to marry, while others chose not to. This is made clear on Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:11-12.

Therefore, before prophecies work on people of these categories, one has to carry out a thorough counseling and deliverances on the people. And personal sincere conversion and true faith in God must be placed first.

So, dear friends in Christ, let us learn how to do things right and stop promoting those whose abuse the Holy Spirit by using his name to make wealth. All these happen because no one takes the so-called prophets to court if their prophecies fail. They’ll always have a way of justifying themselves. They can even blame you for not having great faith in their prophecies.  Let us also live good lives that are pleasing to God, and all other things shall be added unto us.

My prayer is that God may open our minds and hearts to accepts what is true and reject what is false/deceptive.

Peace be with you!
God bless you as you share with others.

Shalom

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About Author

Hi,my name is Obinna Nwala; Founder of Henzyworld.com,I am a Life Coach an IT and Relationship Expert with so much passion in adding positively to people's life and i love solving people's problem within my maximum capacity. From my experiences in life i have come to understand that most people suffer a lot of relationships and life problems which makes them frustrated but Henzyworld is a blog to get inspired where your problems will be solved and where you get latest gist around your environment.

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